These are the Core Desired Feelings that emerged when I revisited The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte in April. (Read my Core Desired Feelings from my first time working through the book here.) When I named these desires as my season of asking “What’s growing?” came to an end, they seemed so accurate and filled me with hope of the new season to come.
And yet, with house-hunting and many ten-hour work days these past few months, they became the furthest things from my mind. In stolen moments where I paused to breathe, I often wondered, “What ever happened to ease?” But before I had the chance to clear a path to pursue it, life’s tornado would come by, sweeping me up again into it’s ever-twisting funnel.
Last week, though, after signing the final papers for our house, saying good-bye to The Seattle School staff as I left my role as Content Curator, and packing up 25 boxes of books, I decided to take a final pause in our tiny garden—one of my favorite places over the past six months—and intentionally revisit these Core Desired Feelings in this season of change.
Are they being met? I wondered. Am I choosing to seek them? Where am I making choices against them?
Right now I am indeed at a threshold. It would be easy to miss it, though, if I instead focused solely on my growing list of to-dos, which is an ever-present temptation (along with its neighboring itch, figuring things out). What surprised me, then, despite my continual distractedness, is that as I brought these Core Desired Feelings out of the vault in which they had been kept these past many months, I realized that things have been falling into place without any conscious action on my part.
I stand at this threshold—between working part-time at The Seattle School and returning full-time to A Sacred Journey; between nine years of seemingly nomadic living and my very first house of my own; between what has been and what will be for my family, my vocation, and my life—and as I take the time to sit back and truly see, I’m surprised and humbled to find all of these Core Desired Feelings already being met.
As this roller coaster of a summer began to slow down and I revisited these Core Desired feelings, I at first felt guilt that I’d missed four good months of pursuing these feelings. But then I began to wonder—if prayer is truly communion with God and the sharing of your delights, doubts, and desires with the Divine, then perhaps these Core Desired Feelings emerged four months ago as a prayer of the soul, released into the heavens and captured by the One who sows life. Perhaps God has been tending to these desires all along, even without my constant vigilance. (Imagine that!)
Or, perhaps the realization that these Core Desired Feelings are being met is simply a shift in perception, brought to the surface in the slow, silent moments when I finally choose to pause. Could the two be so different? After all, A Course in Miracles (popularized by Marianne Williamson, among others) defines a miracle as a shift in perception, and finding these Core Desired Feelings met without much effort on my part undoubtedly seems like the work of the Divine.
Whatever it is, I’m starting to take notice, and I think that’s the part of the equation I’ve been missing all along. There’s so much value in setting intentions and choosing to make changes when circumstances are getting in the way of your True Self, but it can also leave a future-tripper like me always striving for what’s next and never sinking into what is.
As I cross this threshold, I want to practice awareness and continue to set intentions and make changes as I pursue my Core Desired Feelings, but I also want to add a new practice into the mix so I’m not missing the work of the Sacred Guide as I’m caught up in my own master plan. I want to name the things that bring me life, count my blessings, and recognize the areas in which my desires are already being met—resting in abundance, being valued, feeling settled and energized, experiencing ease. Because if their source is Sacred, I’ll find them there, waiting—every last one.
When have you been surprised to find your desires met without your effort? When have you found prayers answered that you didn’t even know you had? Leave your response to the question or the post in the comments.
PS: Discover your Core Desired Feelings with The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte.
PPS: I’ll be engaging in the Sacred practice of nesting over the next few weeks, and I’ll be sure to share with you pictures of the finished product when I’m done, as well as tips to make nesting a Sacred practice for yourself, too.